Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. ~~ Anonymous


Love em … hate em but they’re out there and giving you that “look”. Yeah, you know the look. It’s the one that says I am the greatest lion(ess) that walked the earth and you must cater to my every whim…be afraid-be very afraid. Meow-purrrrrr.

I’ve had a few cats over the years and right now my Queen Sheba (well she thinks she is) has been living with me, her maidservant, for 17 years. Long time for a cat; she’s outlasted 2 husbands, several moves (some to others states), putting up with other imbecile animals (her thinking not mine), endured many kids pawing and grabbing her fluffy tail, as well as changes in food (sale at the grocery store). Still my affectionate lioness has stayed with me (didn’t run away like kitty kitty did all those years ago-lil bitch) and I get “the look” quite often which means she endures me. I translate that to mean she likes me. Right?

Gidget came to me via my sister (who named her) all those years ago as she was moving and her new place didn’t allow pets. Since kitty-kitty ran away (saw later the cat shacked up with a neighbor down the street-guess I wasn’t good enough) my sister thought my daughter needed another. Her highness is part Maine-Coon and domestic long-haired (don’t tell Gidget she’s domestic-oh the horror) and believes she has full run of the house (actually, she probably does). My couch, chairs, bedding, clothes, jackets, etc. etc. all will attest I own a long-haired cat. The queen has stamped her loving mark on me and the children many times over. When I got new furniture and bedding I had to stop and think hmmm how much fur will show on this.

I don’t own a cat; I co-habitate with a feline. No one owns a cat – they own themselves. Their picky and prickly in nature; by this I mean pet me, no don’t...pet me again, (arrgggh glare given from cat) the other way you dimwit, the other way. They saunter to you, you start petting them and then they move away-which is there fun and amusing way to see if you will continue by actually getting up and moving with them.

Don’t get me started on food services. Mine will only eat ocean whitefish flavors – inhales can food like she’ll never see it again. She doesn’t get it very often because well she…can we say “hairball”. I won’t even get into that topic – I’d rather deal with human children sick. Ewww. Swear her highness throws those out of her system at will when she’s mad at me or one of the children.

Speaking of said little beasts, she endures them too. I think she’s highly amused by them (glad someone is). Either that or she's thinking, by way of one of her many looks, if you were my children – SWAP with claws out. She does love the lil minions and they love her. When they sleep out-- it freaks her out -- she meows at their door and gives me one of her “where the hell are they looks”. It’s quite sweet – the queen misses them. Well, it's probably just their laps and there hands rubbing her back she misses but still, it’s sweet that she notices that they aren’t there. When they return she does the cat happy dance which is to run in and out between their feet, until they elicit the scream of, "GIDGET STOP!!!" Yeah queen, stop! I don’t need them to break a bone or anything then I’d have to wait on them.

Her highness, Queen Gidget, only sleeps in high places (back of couch, on chairs. Never on the floor (it’s not good enough). We even bought her a pretty pink bed but like my girls I think she detests that color because she hasn’t slept in it once, even though it has enough catnip on and in it to put her to sleep. Nope, doesn’t work for her - my bed is it. Precisely the top right hand corner. Sometime ago she went from the bottom corner and has now miraculously pushed to the head of the bed. When I tell her to get off I get that look. Lifts up only her head then stares at me, yawns huge (I do not fear the lioness teeth), stares again, blinks and gives me the “oh are you still standing there-get lost woman”. I say, “I’m serious.” Yeah right, claws extract and dig further in the down. "Grrrrrrrr," I growl and the cat… (honest) Smirks. Smirks I tell you. Then I get the look that says, nice try. She then lays head back down and cat naps further.

Cats! Hrumpf... I guess she’s earned the right. I leave her.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Monday...Monday

Bah-da bah-da-da-da; Bah-da bah-da-da-da
Monday, Monday - Can't trust that day.


Haven't heard that song in quite some time but it's ringing through my head. Stop..STOP I say! Why do random songs like that pop into one's head? Huh? Things that make you go hmmmm.

Just noticed it's been almost a month since I last blogged. I am so bad at keeping current...somedays I feel like a mole. Pop your head up from underground take a look and go Naaaaaaaaaah nope no way! LOL

I have been busy on Remembrance and I'm almost there, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but (there's always a but) I think I scared my muse. No, really, I think I did. She's used to my laziness, unorganized and unorthodox style of writing and the fact that I actually have an outline written (and typed) right up to the very end, along with a short epilogue and promo for 2nd book and that I've been sitting at the computer daily welllll, I think I scared her. Either that or she's fainted and in shock. I'm not exactly sure which.

I keep looking at my outline, stare at the wall, look at the outline again and nothing, nada, zilch comes. (I met him at the candy store..He turned around and smiled at me....?) My fingers sit patiently waiting for something... anything. Instead of tapping out words on the keyboard I hum songs recorded long before I was ever born. Isn't that fantastic? What a unique gift. I'm so special (shhhh don't tell anyone - Who would I tell? - Stop talking peeps, I'm trying to hear Daydream Believer by the Monkee's).

Ok that song is over...now I have that blasted hum in my ear from listening to the music too loud. LOL You get that hum too, right? Like I was saying I'm not sure where my muse went but she better hurry up back - I have 5 more chapters calling, aching to be finished. I've looked everywhere for her and trust me, she's not in or, on that white wall in front of my computer. Hmmmmm Nope she's not. (Paperback Writer...Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book? It took me years to write, will you take a look?)

Ok so maybe...Eureka! Of course (smacks head). Muse chick could be lurking around going, yeah sure Steph YOU think you have it outlined YOU think you know your end. Mwahahahahahaha...think again my pretty. (my muse can get very sinister - she likes the cookies and candy given to her on the dark side).

The more I think about it-yeah I'm pretty sure that's my muse. I get it now - she doesn't like the organized Stephy. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm putting away the outline and doing what I always do - write away and see what comes; she (my muse) always comes then. It's worth a shot, right?

And, well...if that don't work. A plate of thin mint cookies, Easter candy (jelly beans mmm) and a pot (what am I saying make that 3 pots) of coffee should lure her out of hiding.

Off to write...right after Mack the Knife stops playing.