Monday, January 3, 2011

You Show Me Yours, I'll Show You Mine Blogfest

Feywriter posted about this Blogfest: You Show Me Yours I’ll Show You Mine on her Facebook. I thought it would be fun to join in. I haven't touched my NaNoWriMo Project since I finished it, it will be fun to read others excerpts. Thank you Summer Frey for doing this.

The following excerpt is James' rememberance of the night when Seren came; saving his miserable existence called life.

Excerpt: Chapter 6

James had been ten-years-old and hiding in the closet. The man, that piece of shit father of his, had come home drunk again. The yelling and screaming had started in the kitchen and ended with his mother crying. God how he hated to hear her cry. It made him sick. Sick and angry. Then he heard the footsteps coming up the stairs, and his momma crying out, ‘no don’t hurt him’. He heard a sickening thud then thumping, like something falling. He had squeezed his eyes shut, tightened his body harder in a ball and pushed himself as far as he could get into the dark recesses of the closet. But, that hadn’t stopped the man.

When he opened the closet, the light came in and exposed him. The man grabbed his foot and yanked him out of the closet screaming and crying. James hadn’t done anything to warrant the beating but it came anyways, like they always did, in one ferocious tidal wave. The man beat him for crying, for screaming, for kicking, for being a momma’s boy, a wimp, a pussy. Every pummel from the man made the world darker and scarier. When his foot connected with the man’s shin in a valiant attempt to stop him, the man picked him up and threw him across the room were he landed in a heap on top of the wide bureau. A mirror hung on the wall over it and his body had connected, shattering it. He had heard a loud snapping sound when his leg hit the hard wood. He lay there staring at his reflection in the mirror. Was that him; that bloodied, beaten, swollen-face, haunted-eyed boy?

He saw the man storming across the room but he couldn’t lift his arm to protect himself. When the man stood over him he glowered. “See now; look what you made me do?” James thought that a funny comment and had laughed. It was the most sickening sound; a gurgling wheeze then the blood had come out of his mouth. James closed his eyes. The man picked him up and threw him over to the bed. The last thing he remembered as he sailed in the air was of flying. He was flying, he felt free. There was no pain just a bright light which he desperately soared to reach, but something weird happened, the light disappeared, and he felt like he hit a brick wall. When he opened his eyes, he was on the bed and there were people working on him telling him he was going to be ok.

Then he heard the voice. A perfect voice if he had ever heard one. It was Seren’s voice inside him, telling him to fight, to live. He would help him. James believed him, and Seren had. He helped him get through every day, the courthouse, the foster homes, torments from the other kids, the fights. He got him this far. He owed Seren one free night of no booze and drugs. Well, at least until he heard what he had to say.


  1. Wow, you have really powerful writing. Thanks so much for sharing.

  2. Great excerpt. I really empathized with James. Thanks for sharing!

  3. Very powerful and vivid. Thanks for participating!

  4. Great description. I really enjoyed your excerpt!

  5. Really powerful. Crazy. I'd like to see how all this plays out :)

  6. Great excerpt! I especially liked the end line in comparison to the sentence before.
    Thanks for participating!

  7. I like your descriptions! Great job! Thanks for participating.

  8. Great description in this excerpt. Enjoyed the read!

  9. Interesting - very angsty and dark, and the writing seems a bit rough in spots, but there's also something to the voice that's compelling. I don't really understand who Seren is or where he fits in, (and the name sounds more like a feminine name to me.)

    Thank you for sharing in this blogfest, and I wish you luck with your writing in the future.